2 days back, I saw this great movie over HBO… it had a different theme about unity, about fighting for your rights, being proud of who you are, racism…etcetera…
The movie touched me in many ways and perhaps one day, I’ll post something about it… J
The least important part in the movie was “romantic” love…
I’m not mentioning the movie title but for those observant enough would recognize this line very well…
A happily married couple is at the verge of getting a divorce and the lady says “I love you”… which is quite the common line we all say in times of real need J
What attracted me was the reply the guy gave, “You don’t love me, but rather you love the idea of loving me and having me around”…
This sentence struck me and it dawned on to me how true this is…
Very often, we get so comfortable with someone, and we get attach to them and the very thought of loosing them send’s shiver done our spine…
The thought of them leaving makes your heart race and your world seems to crumble down…
Every good time shared together will be replayed in one’s mind and it digs the pain deeper and deeper…
Sooner or later, the idea fades away, new memories fill in and the love that you felt like dying for isn’t so worth it anymore…
Of course, I’m not saying all “true” love is such, but it’s seriously time for one to contemplate on their love life…
Do you love him/her OR the idea of having him/her in your life??
tricky one I guess…
For in a love relationship, there’s always role playing…
We play roles among each other in the aim of satisfying each other’s needs…
Being that ideal person for the other is not an easy task… instead of human beings, the conceptual mental images are the ones interacting with each other…
The relationship becomes more unauthentic as it tries to be more perfect J
Ironic isn’t it?
You will have a mental image of not only the other person but also of who you are or think you are…
So, conclusion dawns that you are not really relating to that person at all but rather who you think you are is relating to who you think the other person is…
Hahaha… I guess what I’m writing is getting a little bit of a nuisance here J
But read it again (I read it few times and it made sense la)
Bottom line is, no wonder there is so much conflict in relationships…because there is no true relationship…
It’s a game between mind-made identities that are ultimately nothing but fictions…
Falling in love is nothing but the ego wanting and needing… (and ya, I’m reading this crazy book about ego and all these ideas are pouring in)…
We get addicted to a person or rather to the image of that person…
It has nothing to do with true love because true love never did and never will exist…
Because in true love, there is no wanting and no needing…
It’s never about I need this from you and I want this from you…
And when one makes adjustment in love, the whole role playing starts again (but hey, I read somewhere before that a happy marriage is all about adjusting to one’s needs and not being demanding, its all about give and take, I’m contradicting myself…hahaha…)
Be real and sincere to that someone you love…
Don’t pretend to be happy if you’re not…
And the greatest mistake is, never feel pity in love…
Don’t do nice things and romantic things just because you feel pity for the other person…
Don’t try to make the other person happy only because you pity him/her…
Do it if and only if it makes you happy as well…
Stop pretending… live life to the fullest….
Be simple and sincere…
Well, too many theories on love going on…
Above is just my 2 cents on what it’s all about…
I’m not an anti love person, I’m just a girl in search of true life 
Perhaps one day, my knight with shiny amour will come and sweep my feet of the floor… now, that’s a fairytale we all wanna live in…forever…and ever… and ever…
You know something ago i went thru something like this but with twist in it i posted it long time ago, u may have read it at my blog but it was so long back, here how it goes….
Once upon a time, some time ago, I fell in love. And there was laughter and whispers of happiness. There was much rejoicing. And then, SHUT! Over. Gone. Dead. Completely cut off. Disconnected. The taste still fresh in my mouth.. The smell still on my skin.. The feeling left in my fingertips.. But I don?eem to recall that feeling back..
I may spend my entire life trying to get back into that Polaroid. Fighting all the way. The best thing I have ever known.. Even now, sometime later, anytime I come close to it I want to dive in. Sink or swim. I don’t care. I would give anything to be even in the room next to it… LOVE! Across the street.. A breath away.. Remembering what I never let myself forget.!
Why try to keep her where she doesn’t want to be there? There were nights I cried. When we were together and then I sent her away at home I cried. Not because I was sad, or I was already missing her, but because I was happy. So happy I couldn’t contain myself. I talked to God. I asked him for a direction.. A direction since here I was standing at the crossroads?
Did she feel what I felt? No one will have those dark brown eyes. No one will have that one lock of hair hiding all her secrets. And no one, ever again (shudder) will make me whole. I’m so scared. What if it is real? What if I never fall in LOVE again? I see little pieces of it everywhere. A glance, a smile, a touch. I feel desperate. I feel alone.. So much out there. But I only want to hear one thing.. but sadly I do not know what it is!! If I ever get the chance again. I will stretch out my fingers, grasp it tightly, and NEVER LET IT GO! But till then; I will be here, with my open hand and my desperate heart and my cold and wretched skin?
Slowly, regrettably, forgetting just enough that I can survive from one day to the next. To remember is to suffer. To see what was and then look at what is. To hear her voice, makes my heart stop. She can be almost anyone. She can read me like a book. I will open my page to anyone. Cover to cover. Nothing to hide. Not the fear, the pain, or the hopelessness. It is all there. Large print ; easy to read. Secrets dissolve in tears. I was lost and now I’m found. I was blind but now I see. Maybe I don’t want to?SEE AGAIN!!!
Well back to the story, i totally disagree with your true love but everybody have their own perception on love izin’t it Joe.
Neway we often know what love is not — especially when we are feeling “unloved.” Or that our “lover” is not giving us what we need to feel “loved.” But what is this great emotion we all want to feel? Is love about feeling euphoria? Bliss? All of the time? Some of the time? These are questions not easily answered. And different people will have different answers.
Love can be difficult to define because there are so many types of love.Thus, it is possible for you to love your boyfriend or girlfriend, your father, your sister, and even Johnny Depp, presumably loving each person in a different way. LOL
Remember … real, lasting relationships incorporate both romantic and mature love … physical desire and emotional, intellectual compatibility. Blend romantic and mature love together and you will see true love
so much i write must be the longest ever comment :p
well, one thing is for sure. Love is a powerful energy. there’s a song that i would like to share with you…..
Kabhi kabhi Aditi zindagi mein yuhi koi apna lagta hai.
Kabhi kabhi Aditi wo bichhar jaaye to ek sapna lagta hai.
Aise mei koi kaise apne aansu o ko behne se roke?
Aur kaise koi sochle everything’s gonna be ok?
Kabhi kabhi to lage zindagi mein rahi naa khushi aur naa mazaa.
Kabhi kabhi to lage har din mushkil aur har pal ek sazaa.
Aise mein koi kaise mushkuraye, kaise hasde khush hoke?
Aur kaise koi soch de everything gonna be ok?
Soch jara jaaneja tujhko hum kitna chahte hai.
Rotein hai hum bhi aggar teri ankhon mein aansu aate hai.
Gaane to aata nahi hai magar phir bhi hum gaate hai.
Ke Aditi maana kabhi-kabhi saare jahan mein andhera hota hai;
Lekin raat ke baad hi to sabera hota hai.
Kabhi kabhi Aditi zindagi mei yuhi koi apna lagta hai.
Kabhi kabhi Aditi wo bichhar jaaye to ek sapna lagta hai.
Hey Aditi Hasde hasde hasde hasde hasde, hasde tu zara.
Nahi to bus thora thora thora thora thora, thora mushkura.
Tu khush hai to lage ke jahan mein chhaayi hai khushi.
Suraj nikle baadlon se aur baatein zindagi.
Suun to jara madhosh hawa tujhse kehne lagi.
Ke Aditi wo jo bichhad-te hai ek na ek din phir mil jaate hai;
Aditi jaane tu ya jaane na phool phir khil jaate hai.
Kabhi kabhi Aditi zindagi mei yuhi koi apna lagta hai.
Kabhi kabhi Aditi wo bichhar jaaye to ek sapna lagta hai.
( Hey Aditi Hasde hasde hasde hasde hasde, hasde tu zara.
Nahi to bus thora thora thora thora thora, thora mushkura. )-5
and here’s the meaning :
Sometimes in life, Aditi, someone seems like your own, just like that.
Sometimes Aditi, when they are separated, it seems like a dream.
In such a condition, how can anyone stop their tears from flowing?
And how can someone think everything’s gonna be okay?
Sometimes it seems there is no happiness nor fun left in life
Sometimes it seems every day is difficult, every moment is a punishment
In such a condition, how can someone smile, or be happy and laugh?
And how can they think everything’s gonna be okay?
Think about it dear, how much I love you.
If there are tears in your eyes, I cry too.
I sing, even though I donno how to sing.
Hey Aditi, it’s true that sometimes there is darkness in the entire world
But it’s only after night that day comes.
Sometimes in life, Aditi, someone seems like your own, just like that.
Sometimes Aditi, when they are separated, it seems like a dream.
Hey Aditi, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh a little
Or at least just give a little, little, little, little smile.
If you are happy, it seems the world is filled with happiness
The sun emerges from the clouds and spreads life
Hey listen, what the intoxicating wind is telling you
That Aditi, those who are separated, one day do meet again
Aditi, whether you know it or not, flowers do bloom again
Sometimes in life, Aditi, someone seems like your own, just like that.
Sometimes Aditi, when they are separated, it seems like a dream.
( Hey Aditi, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh a little
Or at least just give a little, little, little, little smile. ) - 5
I’m not competing to have the longest comment around, but the song sums up what i want to share with you. and this song is now my morning song, repeated dunno a gazillion times all the way to work and any other mornign affairs i have.
smile, jolene. many have found solace in that smile. some of us have.
I dunno wat to say but i’m getting goosebumps and now i’m questioning myself lol :S
But yeah, what u wrote made lots of sense. Loads and loads of sense.
But here’s my point of view lar. True love is beyond all these boy girl relationship. Beyond the love you have for family. Beyond. True love is when ur ready to make a stranger happy and you know its a good thing to do.
Simple question. This was how i learnt about attachment. A friend asked me, “Why do you love your mum?’
I replied, “Because she’s my mum. She was pregnant with me for 9 months bla bla bla (all those things)”
Then he questioned me again. “So, if she wasn’t your mum, would you still love her? If she wasn’t pregnant for u for 9 months, would u still love her? If she didn’t took care of you, would u still love her?”
I thought, and like everyone, i replied, “No! How can i love someone whom i dunno!”
That my friend, is attachment. Love has no reason and no season.
But we all call this love because we feel good. It makes the other person feel good. Haha love.. such a vague and mis used word.
Time to move on sis. The train is moving. Run and grab to the railings and move.
Love,
Sukhu
KTM or Indian railways bro?
wow… obviously LOVE has many things to say for itself…
i write one blog, out of boredom and walah… a whole lot of comments come flowing in…
hmmm…let’s analyze it
Raen is in love and found his angel, obviously he’s still on cloud 9…but dear, i’m not denying there is no true love…
just saying, theoretically, true love does not exist if we look it from a higher conscience level la :p as long as you try to satisfy the other’s needs and be someone you’re not, it’s the ego having a role play and sooner or later, the ego will get tired :p but peace la dei, i’m not anti love ok… just my 3 cents talking…i’m all in for love and still hope i’ll fall in love one day
Bala, what you wrote was sweet…life has it’s way of pushing us around and with people like you, it makes us stand right up and be bold to face the world…it gives me the chance to look up to the world and say “bring it on man, is that all you have?”
i may fall, again and again…but i’ll always bounce right back in
Sukhbir, your comment touch me in many ways indescribable…i share your opinion on true love (and hope Raen doesn’t hit me back with his 4 cents…:p )…
Love, among many things are the hardest to judge…
i agree with you, the train is moving fast and to sit n cry and be pathethic about my life isn’t gonna get me anyway…
so, who’s driving the train? can i get a ride?
KTM trains…unreliable service….. KL Monorail….drivers inexperienced…Putra…driverless….STAR….drivers are not too bad…..
choose…… your trains…drivers will follow…..